Let Me Hold You Longer

Let Me Hold You Longer

Karen Kinsbury

Long ago you came to me,

a miracle of firsts,

First smiles and teeth and baby steps

a sunbeam on the burst.

But one day you will move away

and leave to me your past

And I will be left thinking of

a lifetime of your lasts…

The last time that I held a bottle

to your baby lips

The last time that I lifted you

and held you on my hip.

The last night when you woke up crying,

needing to be walked,

When last you crawled up with your blanket

wanting to be rocked.

The last time when you ran to me,

still small enough to hold.

The last time that you said you’d marry

me when you grew old.

Precious, simple moments and

bright flashes from your past-

Would I have held on longer if

I’d known they were your last?

Our last adventure to the park,

your final midday nap,

The last time when you wore your favorite

faded baseball cap.

Your last few hours of kindergarten,

those last few days of first grade,

Your last at bat in Little League,

last colored picture made.

I never said good-bye to all

your yesterdays long passed.

So what about tomorrow-

will I recognize your lasts?

The last time that you catch a frog

in that old backyard pond.

The last time that you run barefoot

across our fresh-cut lawn.

Silly, scattered images

will represent your past.

I keep on taking pictures,

never quite sure of your lasts…

The last time that I comb your hair

or stop a pillow fight.

The last time that I pray with you

and tuck you in at night.

The last time when we cuddle

with a book, just me and you

The last time you jump in our bed

and sleep between us two.

The last piano lesson,

last vacation to the lake.

Your last few weeks of middle school,

last soccer goal you make.

I look ahead and dream of days

that haven’t come to pass.

But as I do, I sometimes miss

today’s sweet, precious lasts…

The last time that I help you with

a math or spelling test.

The last time when I shout that yes,

your room is still a mess.

The last time that you need me for

a ride from here to there.

The last time that you spend the night

with your old tattered bear.

My life keeps moving faster,

stealing precious days that pass,

I want to hold on longer-

want to recognize your lasts…

The last time that you need my help

with details of a dance.

The last time that you ask me for

advice about romance.

The last time that you talk to me

about your hopes and dreams.

The last time that you wear a jersey

for your high school team.

I’ve watched you grow and barely noticed

seasons as they pass.

If I could freeze the hands of time,

I’d hold on to your lasts.

For come some bright fall morning,

you’ll be going far away.

College life will beckon

in a brilliant sort of way.

One last hug, one last good-bye,

one quick and hurried kiss.

One last time to understand

just how much you’ll be missed.

I’ll watch you leave and think how fast

our time together passed.

Let me hold on longer,

God, to every precious last.

Yachats 2010

What started out as a quick trip over to see friends last year has apparently turned into an annual thing. Mark joined a car club this year that has regular car shows, the main (for us) being a weekend long event in Yachats, Oregon. It is held at this beautiful and quaint motel right on the beach on the edge of Yachats and we literally have the whole place to ourselves. It's amazing! The kids are pretty much free to roam the grounds safely, we aren't worried about making too much noise (cuz those drunk old folks are louder than all my kids put together!), and it's just overall a relaxing and fun time.

Mark and LeRoy, Brothers at heart. They act just like kids when they are together!



The beautiful Oregon coast...there's no place like home.
Babies lookin at the tide pools.

Missy and me!

Wind blown beauty.
BFFS Lauren and Allison.


No CLUE what this was!! And it was dark so we couldn't see it!!! Wasn't until we looked at the pictures that we were like what the heck!!??
Missy and Lukey




Baby girl with her daddy's big car!

Grandpa Jerry (LeRoy's dad)
Grandma Ellen (LeRoy's Mom)

Sunset view out the window from our table at dinner! It just kept getting better and better!
It was LeRoy's birthday the night we got there so we went out to celebrate!
This pic cracks us up!! It was so random!
Allie and Lauren doing a camp skit...they are too funny.

My handsome boys.
Takin self portraits on the beach, lol.
The moon was amazing!
As you could probably guess, I'm blowing up several of these pics for my walls!
My gorgeous girl.

Grandpa Jerry pulled out Nicole (right) and her friend, Raelynn onto the dance floor. So flippin funny!
Then Gracie got in there too. She had no clue what to do with all these drunk adults!
Daddy tried to get her dancing....
Then Grandpa Jerry tried.

We had a nice time sitting around the last night with wine and good conversation. All we were missing was the campfire.


We are already booked and looking forward to next years trip!!! Such a great time. We LOVE Yachats. Someday we will have a beach house there and you're all invited for a weekend!!

Kidney Stones Revisted...

So while we were in Hawaii, (of course it happened on vacation) Mark was attacked quite viciously by a nasty 7mm stone stuck up near his kidney. After a day of agony and 4 hours in the ER, he was sent home with pain meds. Thanks to our Lord, he was spared any more attacks while there and has only suffered a few twinges here and there for the last three weeks. Alas the "should be set in gold and worn" stone did not budge and therefore had to be surgically removed.

He underwent laser blasting (not the technical term obviously) yesterday and of course it took WAY longer than expected. The surgeon called it "a hard little sucker" and had to spend considerable time shaving it down before he was able to extract it (bummer, no new ring for Becky).

He is recovering nicely, still in some good pain while standing or walking, but seems better every hour. His tentative plan is to return to work (crazy, CRAZY man) on Thursday; can't keep the man in bed to save my LIFE. So stubborn. But what's a girl to do? Gotta be proud of a man with such an amazing work ethic and dedication to providing for his family.

Thanks all for you prayers, thoughts and well wishes for us once again. We love you all!

First day of school 2010

Allie's first day of Middle School. Sixth grade already. Seriously? Has it really been six years since my baby started school? I just can't believe it. She's half done! HALF DONE, PEOPLE!!!! That's not right.

You can see her excitement oozing from her toothy grin here...and my not so excited, close to sobbing, forced smile next to her. Ugh.
She got a little nervous once we got there. She asked me to come in with her. I kept checking to see if she was ready for me to leave and she never did say yes..."just a few more minutes, Mama".
She got her locker opened on the first try though!!!
Her BFF Lauren getting all settled in. They have all but one classes together! How did THAT happen??? LOL

Her other BFF, Shilo.
Allie and Corrina.
A hallway full of sixth graders...*shudder*
After I picked up Allie from her first day of middle school (only half day) it was time to take Luke, Grace and Brian to Creslane to get settled; drop off supplies, meet teachers etc.
Allie helped Luke organize his desk. She loves that kind of stuff...gets it from her mama.
Lukey picked the seat right next to Amy...remember her from Kindergarten? He was super stoked to have her in his class again!!! (they have since been moved because they talked too much! LMAO)
Allie on her second day of school. How did she start looking like a middle schooler overnight I ask???
Luke and Grace all ready for their first day!

My baby girl on her very first day of school ever! She was so excited! She did testing the day after we got back from Hawaii and was able to skip over Kindergarten and go straight to the first grade! She is in our beloved Mrs. Meeker's class...we could not be happier!!

The kiddos having breakfast!
Luke was a little nervous getting in there. He was acting so weird and didn't seem to want me to leave! He calmed down a little when he saw some familiar faces though thank goodness. Not like my kids to be so nervous!

Gracie on the other hand was all smiles and ready to GO!
Doesn't that hallway look like it could swallow her whole? :(
She sat right down and got to work. Wasn't even phased! Brat!
Put her lunch away and got all unpacked all by herself like she's been doing it for years!
I dropped Allie off and she too seemed as if she'd been in middle school the whole time. No big deal, Mom...I got this!
Luke at the end of day one.

Grace at the end of day one....SHE WAS EXHAUSTED! She couldn't even smile! LOL
and she passed out good that night!!!

Boobie seemed a little sad...she says she was just checking her phone...mhm, sure.

The moms were better AFTER school...we had our babies back and spent an hour at the park.

It was a great couple of days. Now that the kids are all settled into a full day of school I am finding myself with a lot of spare time!!! My house is clean and I'm blogging again!! LOL!!! They ALL start piano today, two of the three are excited for that but I know they will all do well! Both Grace and Luke want to play soccer, that starts on 9-27. So ya, gonna be busy! I love being busy...makes my days go by faster!