Don't say "bomb" in the airport.

A vital lesson learned as I was being patted down by the security guard before we even got to our gate in Eugene to await departure for Las Vegas. Well...then don't put the word "bomb" on a huge white sign for a 7 year old boy who is just learning how to read to practice on!!! DUH!!! Oh well...lesson learned. For mother AND son!

So our trip started out interestingly and continued in such fashion! The kids enjoyed their first plane ride and were super excited to see the infamous Las Vegas! They were all bug eyed seeing the big city, riding in a shuttle (with no seat belt...Grace did NOT appreciate that one at all!) being in a huge hotel (The Orleans, off strip) and then meeting all the family. It was really cool to experience it with them and enjoy things on their level.

The purpose of the trip was an Erbes family reunion for my grandparents 65th (yes...that was SIXTY FIVE) wedding anniversary! Mom, Dad, my family of five, my brother's family of four, my Aunt Kay, my Aunt Jan and her hubby Jim, my cousins Kami with her man Greg, and Michael, my cousin Taylor, my second cousin Jessica and her hubby Dave...uh...I think that's it! We were quite the show going in for breakfasts in the morning let me tell ya!!! I haven't seen some of my family members in almost thirty years (yes, I AM that old) and other's I'd never met face to face! What an amazing experience to be able to spend some time with them and get to know them a little better.

Our trip started off great, meet and greet, trips down memory lane, looooots of hugs and kisses, mending some relationships that desperately needed mending (who knew Vegas could provide that opportunity!!!) and plans for more annual reunions to enjoy each other all over again! The only bad thing that happened (well...besides the loss of money and sleep) was my girls got violently ill on Tuesday afternoon from what we thought was food poisoning. That was until we got home on Friday and Luke was violently ill...and then MARK was violently ill on Saturday. How I managed to avoid it is beyond me, although I didn't come out unscathed, I have a killer head cold and had vertigo for two days! OY! What an end!! But I would do it all over in a second to see my family.

Families are forever. I'm sporting a new tattoo to prove that! lol! I have to have a tattoo to show my love of everything...I'm sick like that! :P Last week was an amazing reminder of the strength, love, dependence of the family bond. It is unbreakable. In the end of this life I will be proud to say I had an awesome family. I love each and every one of them and would lay my life down for them.

I am blessed indeed.

Thank you, Family, for a wonderful trip, all the laughs, the tears, the help (sick babies) and the memories. I cherish you all and I cannot wait til the next trip; although somewhere my hubby will burn less cash would be GREAT!!!

Dandelion

Faith is such an amazing thing on so many different levels. We are forgiven, we are promised eternal life, all we have to do is have faith that our Lord Jesus died for us and rose again. Seems like such a simple thing that it surprises me to no end that people don't believe! How can you look at a rainbow, the ocean, a newborn baby and NOT believe in God?

Over the years I've struggled with relationships. As I've grown in age, maturity, faith and MYSELF it's been a process of how to react to things, how to let go of things and where to find the line between protecting my family and myself versus forgiving those who have hurt me. While at the women's retreat I was able to have a very enlightening discussion with one of the women pastors, Judy, from my church and I asked her: "Is it possible to truly forgive someone with out then opening yourself up to them. Can you move on in your life without them in it and really have forgiven them?" Her answer surprised me a little bit, "Absolutely"! SWEET! My initial reaction was such relief...it was like a 50lb weight lifted off my shoulders. She went on to explain why she believes this...here's a summary.

We, as Christians, have the most amazing gift. We are able to give our troubles, our problems, our grief to God. When we have something happening to us we can pray and simply ask Him to take it and He will. All we have to do is Let Go, Let God. (Literally one of my FAVORITE motto's ever!) When we have struggles with people or situations that we don't feel like we can handle anymore, He is always there to help us and guide us, all we need to do is pay attention and listen...obey. He knows our heart.

However, for those that do NOT believe in Him and only depend on themselves for comfort and guidance, they have a very poor example to follow. The poisons in this life from conflict both inside themselves and influences outside themselves start to fester and spread. Judy used a dandelion as an example. As it grows (the poisons) the roots take hold and start to spread. Picture the roots of a dandelion in your head, how long and thick they get, then they sprout off the main strand into smaller strands that then sprout again. It takes hold of the dirt its in and grabs on for dear life. It becomes a huge spikey thing that is almost impossible to pull out! Then the roots start attacking other flowers around it. It takes hold of their space and pulls all the nutrients away from them, killing them. We can try to pull it, but how often do we yank on a weed like that and only get the top of it, leaving the root to continue it's growth and shortly there will be another dandelion to take the place of the one we "got rid of".

When we don't have God as our poison control, the dandelion root takes over our lives. We let anger, non forgiveness, hard feelings fester in our hearts. All that nastiness turns to bitterness and bitterness turns to more anger and so on. Poison. And it effects SO many people. It spreads like disease.

We as humans are so ill equipped to deal with the poisons of this earth, if we depend on ourselves we will fail. In all we do. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but our lives will not be all they can be. Our relationships will suffer, our outlook will suffer, our happiness will suffer. With God all things are possible. With God not everything is happy and wonderful all the time, but those hard times make us better people, struggles build our endurance and our walk with Him, and with Him to turn to those stormy times seem easier. Being able to give it to Him is such a comfort, such relief. When we depend on HIM and not ourselves, we will succeed.

So can we HONESTLY forgive and still let go? Absolutely. Thank you, God for that freedom.

Bring the Rain

Much needed retreat

It's crazy to think that after last years drama and trials, I was able to remain strong and unmoved, my faith was strong, my drive was strong, I was the epitomy of a God fearing woman who knew what God had in store for this family...that this year I am lost. I have been in a dark place for months. Haven't wanted to do much, don't want to get out of bed, don't want to take care of my family and home, don't want to pray or be prayed for much less open my Bible and listen for God to talk to me. It's been horrible. Draining on not only myself, but my husband, my babies, and everyone else around me.

After all God did for us last year, all the miracles He performed day after day, His presence through it all was so apparent to us; we never felt Him leave our side, you'd think my faith could never falter. I don't know if that's really what has happened...my FAITH hasn't faltered, I have. I felt abandoned, dismissed, ignored. I was angry with myself. Was I angry with God? I don't think it went that far but I definitely was angry with Becky. I felt selfish. How could I possibly be anything but ecstatic with my life, with my blessings, with my answered prayer. I don't know...but I was unhappy. Unmotivated.

Mom insisted we go on our church's Women's Retreat. One more thing I was agreeing to without feeling any urge or desire what so ever. Which made me angry with Becky again. I could not hear God talking to me anymore. I could not feel his presence with me at ALL.

This last weekend I met and worshipped beside some of the most amazing, God fearing, loving and open women I've ever known in my life. I don't think I've ever cried so hard and so much as I did those three days. I know I've never been prayed over as much as I was. (not prayed FOR...prayed OVER.) I'm not sure anyone can understand what an opportunity a retreat is, to fellowship with sisters or brothers in Christ in a natural setting with no outside interruptions, unless you have been to one. It was life changing. Life altering. I am so blessed to have been talked into going, so fortunate for God's intervention in forcing me out of my house and out of my "comfort zone". I hadn't heard Him for so long. I hear Him again. Our speaker gave me so many enlightening things to think and pray about...she was inside my head the entire weekend, but she also gave me the "Ah-hah Moment" I needed to snap out of my funk. I know it will still take work, I know I'm not fixed overnight. But now I know that I have not been abandoned; on the contrary, God gave me 25 other women to support me through this next phase.

I am blessed indeed. Thank you, God.



Amanda stoking the fire....til she noticed the spider hanging off the end.


Gathering for worship.


Perhaps I shoulda worn make up...oh well. LOL
Our bunks.