One of those days.

Do you ever have "just one of those days" when you don't know if you are PMS'ing, going crazy or just being shown by God with full force how lucky and blessed you are? I mean, some days it is just SO APPARENT and all I want to do is fall to my knees weeping and thank God! I suppose today is one of those days. I'm super emotional today, both good and bad. Waking up groggy from a great dream I didn't want to lose, irritated with Mark cuz he wasn't feeling well enough to go to chruch (I know, I know!), crying in church because it was such an AMAZING message, getting ticked at Mom for something dumb, getting excited about a new project and crying while talking about how cool it could be, crying at the internet, yelling at the kids to STAY OUTSIDE...I mean seriously, how many ups and downs can one woman have in a two hour period?

Have you ever met someone and felt a kinship almost immediately? That's happened three times to me in my life. First with my niece, Abbey. Since the day she was born she and I have had this connection. I can't explain it other than it was God given. I love that child and even though she lives literally across the country, I know that we will always have that bond. The second was with a woman I have yet to meet face to face although we have had more deep conversations than I've had with any other one person this year (except Mom and Mark of course). She was with me through the cancer, I was there for her with the death of her beloved grandmother. There is something about her that I am just drawn to. I know that she will be a lifetime friend. We are so much alike on so many levels; same thought process, same faith, same family dedication...she's amazing and I am privileged to call her friend. The third is a woman I barely know. Yet everytime I am around her I think to myself "Oh, I want to be her friend!" She is absolutely beautiful, inside and out, and everything about her oozes goodness. She's quick with a smile and a hug, she's helpful and mindful, her faith is humbling and motivating. She makes me want to get involved and be a stronger Christian, and better person.

I decided a couple of years ago that this life is a short one. I want to surround myself with people that enrich me, challenge me, make me strive for better and never give up on what's really important...to keep a strong hold on what's important and let go of all the fluff. So far I think I've done a good job at weeding out the negativity in my life. Hopefully I've done that without stepping on too many toes and without hurting anyone unnecessarily. It's been a rough road for me in my 30's. I'm just figuring out who I am. I want to be better. I want to be an example for others, I want to be a vessel for God's word and God's work. I want to be everything He made me to be. I can't do it on my own. Letting go of "the world revolves around Becky" has been a huge struggle for me. Getting married helped, having kids was an enormous shift changing experience, but these last two years have been the most life changing ones I've had yet. I feel so much stronger now, so much healthier, I'm happy to be me, happy to be here, happy to just BE.

Ugh...it is definitely "one of those days" for me. I think I need more coffee....